


It's Not All Friendship

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Light Angst, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Pining, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unrequited Love, Unspecified Setting, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 23:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16670692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: Loki has never had a true friend before, it's why it takes him by surprise when Tony wants something more from him.





	It's Not All Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> So. It's almost eleven o'clock at night and I'm preparing to go to bed like a normal person. I'm tired. What happens? I FIND A FUCKING SPIDER IN THE BATHROOM. So here I am spending thirty painstaking minutes after putting a plastic container around the feisty, pissed off spider summoning my courage to get it the hell out of the house and released.
> 
> I eventually succeed, and you know what? I'm awake af now. So y'all are getting a fic. Thank that fucking spider. *shivers*
> 
>  
> 
> On an arachnid free note. This story follows a similar premise to the ficlet [Regardless](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16405271) and I wrote them at the same time. They're different enough that I indulged myself in writing both. I hope you like this one! :)

The last thing Loki expected to find on Midgard was a friend, but that was precisely what Anthony Stark became to him.

Loki was not an easy person to know, and an even harder person to tolerate for long periods. Loki had never possessed a true and genuine friend; someone who sought his company over others, someone who was loyal to him and wished to be involved in his pranks.

Loki knew that others held Anthony’s friendship as well, but Loki knew that _he_ was highly prized by Anthony. He was as important to the mortal as Colonel Rhodes and Loki took such pleasure from that knowledge.

He also feared losing the Midgardian. Loki hadn’t realised how _alone_ he had been for centuries with none save his mother who understood him. She was gone now and it left Anthony; a man who was desperately important to him.

It was why Loki sought out Idunn and bartered with her. She had never liked him, but nor had she hated him. She was indifferent and so she listened to his request thoughtfully as Loki made his case. 

A part of him was still surprised he had succeeded and that she had given him a golden apple. The rest of him was triumphant and relieved. Anthony Stark was special, _precious_. He was also Loki’s _friend_ and Loki refused to leave him to a mortal lifespan. Loki had just never expected that the mortal would say _no_.

He’d returned directly, arriving in Anthony’s tower to find him pouring a drink at his bar. It was late evening and he smiled at Loki.

“You’re back!” He pulled out a second glass automatically. “The way you were talking I thought you’d be gone all week.”

“I did not expect my request to be granted so easily,” Loki replied, taking a seat at the bar and being handed his glass. He smiled at the amber liquid, already planning the myriad of liquors he could introduce the man to once he was no longer mortal.

“Oh yeah?” Anthony asked. “What did you get this time? Magic book? New jacket? Set of daggers?” His gaze turned hopeful. “Something new for me to experiment with?”

“You are insatiable,” Loki chided, but he was smirking. “Do you not have enough trinkets from my travels?”

“No, never,” Anthony instantly disagreed. He leant against the bar and took a sip from his drink. “So what _did_ you get?”

“Something for you.” Anthony’s eyes blazed with triumph and he looked a second from crowing, but the arrogance of victory faded when Loki conjured the apple from his pocket dimension and placed it on the bar.

Anthony stared at it, the shock and disbelief making it obvious he knew what it was and what it meant. 

“I would have you become more than a mortal,” Loki told him. “I did not come to this planet expecting anyone to impress me. I have made few positive connections in my life, but you are incredible, kind and bright. You are also my friend, Anthony Stark, the first I have ever made. I do not want to see you lost due to the disadvantage of your race. I wish to spend the coming centuries with you. I can show you the Realms and places you could not dream of. I would have you be my companion.”

Anthony swallowed. His hand lifted and lingered over the apple, but he didn’t touch it. 

“Shit, Loki,” Anthony said, his voice raw. He followed it by throwing back the last of his drink. He put down his glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.

It wasn’t the reaction Loki had expected or hoped for. He watched the mortal with a frown. “You’re indecisive.”

“Fucking - of course I am.” Anthony let out a rough breath. He removed his hand and looked at Loki. There was something painful lurking in his eyes. His usual good-humour and cheer around Loki was washed away for something dejected and depressed. “Loki, I...” Anthony trailed off and looked at the apple, gleaming in the light from the man’s tower. He sounded miserable. “I’m sorry, but I can’t take it.”

It hurt, as all rejections did, but Loki wasn’t swayed. “Why?”

Anthony’s gaze jerked away from the fruit to look at Loki. “What?”

“I would like a reason for your rejection, Anthony. Why would you throw away the offer for extended life?” He was upset, and it slipped into his voice, despite his best attempts to hide it. “I thought you would be happy...”

“Shit, Loki,” Anthony looked torn; he even moved to touch Loki but stopped himself. He was quick to pour himself another drink instead. His hand shook ever so slightly before he quelled it. His face was drawn as if he had aged a year within the last few minutes. He didn’t sip the drink, but he stared at it. “Loki. I love being your friend. You’re amazing and I can’t believe no one else has ever realised that. I have fun with you and, just... fuck, the offer is incredible but...”

“But?” Loki prompted when Anthony trailed off.

Anthony closed his eyes. “But, I can’t spend centuries being just friends with you, Loki. Fuck, it’d kill me.”

It made him flinch, it made Loki wanted to recoil from pain and then lash out with anger, but his mind quickly caught on the phrasing _‘just friends’_ and it suddenly made sense.

“You want...”

“To be your lover?” Anthony smiled without humour, refusing to look at him. “Yeah. And I might be a sucker, but even I’m not masochistic enough to sign up for centuries of being unable to have what I want. My heart can’t take it, Loki. No matter how tempting it is.” He slumped. “Or how bad I feel about saying no to you.”

Loki was completed blind sighted. “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah,” Anthony looked bleakly amused. “I made sure you wouldn’t see.” His humour faded and he swirled his drink glumly. “I like spending time with you, even knowing it’s just friendship.” He finally raised his eyes; the usual warm chocolate was flat and sad. “I really wish I could give you centuries of this.” He tried to grin. “But, you’re always telling me to be more selfish.”

“I am,” Loki answered, his voice sounding off, his mind still reeling. “You give too much.”

Anthony nodded. “It’s why I can’t take your offer. I’m sorry, Loki.”

 _Don’t apologise_ , Loki wanted to say, but it never escaped his lips. He could only look at Anthony with complete incredulity. The mortal was in love with him. Loki had expected many things might occur when he offered Anthony the apple, but even he had not prepared for that.

* * *

Loki avoided Anthony.

He retreated to his room in the tower and examined their relationship. He also stared at the apple in his hands. He couldn’t bring himself to discard it. Loki would always think of it as Anthony’s even if the mortal never agree to take it.

Mostly, Loki tried to understand how he had missed something so important.

He didn’t manage to stay away from Anthony for more than a day before the mortal was knocking on his door.

Loki opened it and found Anthony’s hair and clothing dishevelled. He wasn’t trying to hide the worry and upset that littered his expression.

“Anthony-”

“Don’t tell me I fucked this up,” Anthony pleaded.

“Anthony-”

“It’s not fair. God, I know it’s not. I’m saying I won’t eat an apple, but I’m still asking you to stick around while I’m alive.” He reached out and gripped Loki’s wrist, not even seeming to notice he was doing it. His eyes were desperate. “I don’t want to lose this, Loki. You’re the best thing I have right now and I-” 

“ _Anthony_ ,” Loki said softly, bringing his hand to touch the mortal’s. It made Anthony stop and look down at their palms. “You have not lost me. I was... surprised and yes, I was saddened you would not take the apple, but I understand.” He squeezed Anthony’s hand. “You remain important to me.”

Anthony let out a rough breath and stumbled forward. Loki had to let the man’s hand go, but Anthony continued until he could press his forehead to Loki’s chest. He kept a tight hold on Loki’s wrist and breathed him in. He looked so fragile, lonely and sad that Loki wrapped an arm around Anthony before he could think. Anthony instantly brought an arm around Loki’s waist in return.

“Kind of thought you’d leave and never come back,” Anthony admitted, his voice rougher than before. “Fuck up like me and unwanted feelings dumped on you to boot.” He gave a wobbly laugh. “Shitty friend I am.”

“None of that,” Loki told him gently. “I am proud to have you by my side. Your companionship is a prize I have never overlooked nor squandered.”

Anthony relaxed further against him, almost going boneless. Loki gently rubbed his hand over Anthony’s lower back, seeking to comfort him. Anthony shuddered, moving to arch into the touch before he froze and hurriedly pulled away.

He didn’t look Loki in the eye. “Right, um. Sorry, I overreacted. I’ll, uh, leave you alone and-”

Loki reached out and snagged Anthony’s wrist, keeping him from leaving. “You do not need to leave. Perhaps we can head to your lab? Discuss one of our projects?”

Anthony raised his eyes; his gaze was indecipherable, but his smile was sincere, if small. “Yeah. We can do that.”

He pulled his hand from Loki’s grip and turned away. An unhappy frown formed on Loki’s face. He didn’t like seeing Anthony in distress, nor did he like to know that he was the cause.

Loki had spent the last two years considering Anthony as his cherished companion and friend. Perhaps now he should discover if he could see the mortal as something else as well.

* * *

Loki spent two months watching Anthony. 

The mortal’s affection shone through even when he attempted to mask it. His love was obvious, now that Loki knew about it. So was his lust, which Loki was startled to realise must have been present from the start.

Anthony touched him often, always moved into his personal space. He faltered when he realised what he was doing, but Loki made no comment, and so Anthony continued to do it.

Anthony’s eyes tracked him when he entered a room, sliding over his body before awkwardly jerking away. Loki's hands, throat, lips and hips all gained particular attention. 

Anthony was adept at hiding his feelings, but Loki was perceptive when he knew what was there to see.

Loki also examined his own feelings. He had never cared so strongly for another and while it was true that his affections were platonic, that was simply logical. He would never look at a mortal as a perspective partner due to their short life expectancy.

But, now there was an apple. 

Loki thought at length about the other man’s many attractive qualities both intellectually and physically. It was that consideration that found Loki starting to let his touches linger while also reaching for Anthony when he never normally did. He was attempting to search himself and their relationship.

Anthony wasn’t oblivious to his newfound friendliness. He’d eyed him warily the first time he did it, looking cornered. 

"What are you doing?" he asked.

“Touching you.” 

Loki’s hand rested on Anthony’s upper back. A friendly gesture, but something Loki had never before bestowed.

Anthony had grimaced and looked away. “How about you don't, okay?”

“You’d rather I didn’t touch you?”

Anthony’s frown deepened and his shoulders hunched. “It’s not a good idea.”

“You touch me,” Loki pointed out. Anthony only seemed more uncomfortable. “I would like to touch you, but I can stop, if you wish.”

Anthony chewed on his bottom lip, a heavy debate going on behind his eyes. In the end, he slumped and let out a heavy sigh. “No. Don’t stop.”

Loki ran his hand over Anthony’s back in a comforting gesture. He considered mentioning what he was attempting to learn, but decided against it. Hope, after all, was an incredibly dangerous and painful thing to hold.

Anthony didn’t make another comment about Loki’s increase in affection and Loki silently continued to consider Anthony as a perspective lover.

Yet, Loki soon realised that a finer partner, he could never hope to find.

It still took him four months to truly commit to the decision. He had hurt Anthony enough; he didn’t wish to do so again by not being certain.

Loki had been trying to decide on the right moment to breach the topic, but when he discovered Anthony exhausted in his lab after a battle, Loki didn’t hesitate to step forward and comfort him.

Loki hadn’t been needed in the skirmish, and despite knowing Anthony had returned two hours ago, he’d left the man alone. The mortal often wished for time by himself after a fight, working off his restless energy on a project or repairing any damage done to his armour.

Anthony’s head was in his hands and Loki stepped in close behind him. He placed one hand on Anthony’s shoulder while the other went into his hair, carding through the brunet locks. He hummed a small shushing noise and was rewarded by Anthony relaxing and leaning into his touch. He then let out a trembling sigh that shook his small frame.

He tugged a little at Anthony’s hair before rubbing his scalp, careful of any hidden injuries, but finding none. He started to stroke his thumb over Anthony’s shoulder, but this time, his shudder didn’t feel like one from pleasure. Anthony's shoulders tensed and he tried to shrug off Loki’s touch.

“Stop, Loki.” He sounded tired. Loki’s hands stilled, but he didn’t remove them. “You have to know this doesn’t help me.” He gave a rough sound, between a laugh and a sob. “What the hell do you think it does to me, having you touch me like you mean it, when I know that you don’t?”

Loki’s lips pursed. He had intended a grander announcement, perhaps even when they were both in a more relaxed mood, but he knew Anthony would prefer the answer, regardless of the setting.

“I considered you my friend. I had never had one and you were precious to me for this reason. I never considered mortals interesting before you, but you are extraordinary-” 

“ _Loki_ -” his voice was almost a plea. Loki ignored him.

“I gained the apple for you, but for all my supposed perception of others, I had no inclination you sought more from me.” He squeezed Anthony’s shoulder. “I would never have started a romantic partnership with a mortal... but, we have the means of removing such an obstacle. It allowed me to observe you in a different light.” Anthony was stiff under his hands. He hardly seemed to be breathing. Loki smiled gently and let his thumb rise to stroke Anthony’s neck. “These last months, I have been searching our relationship for potential.”

He could see and feel Anthony’s rough swallow. “What did you find?”

Loki’s smile widened. He slipped his hand from Anthony’s hair to his other shoulder. He gently encouraged the mortal to turn in his chair. It ended with Anthony sitting in front of and looking up at him. His eyes were wide with hope and vulnerability. 

“I found _you_ , Anthony.” He cupped Anthony’s cheek. “And a finer partner, mortal or otherwise, I could not hope to find.”

He bent down, taking care not to startle the mortal and allowed their lips to brush. Anthony groaned and pressed back against him, desperation making the kiss harsh. Loki allowed it and cupped Anthony’s neck while the mortal gripped his wrist. He let Anthony kiss him deeply, years of yearning washing over Loki and leaving him smiling with pleasure and affection.

They only pulled back when Anthony needed air; he gasped and pressed his forehead to Loki’s shoulder. Loki’s smile grew a little more and he thumbed the edge of Anthony’s goatee. He also gave into the urge to kiss the top of his _partner’s_ head.

Anthony’s squeezed his wrist tightly. “This can’t be real.”

“I assure you, it is.”

Anthony’s arm came around his waist, tugging him close and holding on possessively. Loki quelled a small smile and brought his fingers into Anthony’s hair, running through it gently. He knew it would take Anthony a few days to accept and believe he could gain what he wanted, but Loki was willing to wait.

Six months ago, Loki had been desperate to secure the life and companionship of a dear and important friend. Now, he was hopeful to secure the life of a lover and partner, someone he could travel the realms with and marry in due course.

And for such a beautiful and desired outcome, Loki would give Anthony all the time that he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST LIKE LOKI BEING SO ADORING OF HAVING A _FRIEND_ THAT HE SKIPS LOVE AND THEN REWINDS TO SEE IF HE CAN ALIGN WITH TONY IN THIS WITHOUT LOSING HIS FRIENDSHIP IN THE PROCESS. AND LOOK AT THAT, HE CAN XD


End file.
